Duth my retainer make me thound funny?

Did you every wish you had to wear a retainer? Did you ever want to be the kid that came to school with a new pair of glasses, dramatic hair cut, or new braces?

I did.

So starved for attention, I guess.

I finally got the braces and the dramatic hair-cut. Sort of got busted by the Optometrist when I faked poor vision-so, no glasses, but I really thought the whole retainer, braces, rubber-band, mouth appliance were all so way cool.

This was today. This was my 5th grade year.

And instead of the real thing, me and my friend Susan Conklin would either fashion a paper clip around our teeth or, even better, get a huge wad of gum and stick to the roof of our mouths. And then we'd talk for as long as we could, pretending we had really serious orthodontia going on.

So, as a memento of my more innocent days as a needy-nerdy-5th-grader, I thought I'd get this:



Retainer Necklace [2006]

By Kiel Mead

Sterling Silver or 14 K Gold-Plated

30" Chain

Cast from his brother's retainer, Kiel Mead offers this hunk of orthodontic nostalgia to those who want to wear their most awkward phases around their necks. Just make sure you don't set it down and throw it out with your lunch tray.


Silver in stock; Gold ships within 3 weeks.


From T H E F U T U R E P E R F E C T